Mind you, I am very happy it is ONLY the tenth, because there is so much to do still before we go on our two day holiday, while my fabulous sister in law is going to stay here and take care of the bunnies and jazz. Two whole days away ! I wont know what to do with myself !
Before that happens though I have to take care of clubs, lots and lots of custom yarns and dyes and last but not least….clean up my wardrobe…or not ..and paint “NARNIA”on the doors ….it’s not that I own a huge amount of clothes, but I am just not organised.
I am not one those people that hang everything up neatly or fold it up and organise their clothes in alphabetical or colour coordinated fashion..Im more of a …dump and seek and you shall find kind a girl, the result of which can be either a good surprise : “Oh look! I TOTALLY forgot I had that!”or “Oh myy, I thought I threw that pants with all those irreparable holes out long ago”….
I also have to admit I am very bad at throwing things away….not that I am a hoarder or anything, Im very good at throwing things away in spurts..the rest of the time, until the Narnia wardrobe explodes that is, I just add to it and hope that I will magically find it again…I should better my ways and I will, this weekend….(fingers crossed)..I have to ..because the doors of my Narnia Wardrobe won't close anymore…lol
I don’t own a huge amount of clothes, like I said nor do I have very expensive stuff..I only have 4 hellbunny dresses ( I wear to do’s and shows and going out once in a blue moon..lol) , and let me see, about 3 pairs of pants (one is on the repair pile since that Hole incident last week…lol) , a couple of leggings and a short kilt, the majority of my clothing posessions are fun tshirts and work clothes for the farm work, some of which are falling apart at the seams. I think I may have a bit of a blokey view on clothes..I do own and wear, I am not ashamed to admit it, workpants and shirts with holes and stains ..because let’s face it….logging around haybales, dirty bunny houses and digging in the dirt to nurture the veggie plots does not involve me wearing my hellbunny dress and a petticoat.. I will get that notion you had of me straight out of your head. lol
If you were to come and visit me unannounced, you will find me looking more like Calamity Jane without make up and in work clothes. The price you pay for coming to visit unannounced, let’s get that cleared up right at the start!, is, apart from you getting a heart attack and running away screaming as soon as you see me..lol, you can help me clean ! So, now we got that out of the way..lol…what’s happening here?
Well, it is busy, super busy and I am happy about it ofcourse but I do seem to be in need of minions..lol..It is always an even more busy period when the clubs need to be prepped, dyed and the truckload of parcels labelled and posted. All the rest keeps coming as well, but I have nobody to blame but myself, because I keep on coming up with new blends and new ideas…There is one particular blend in the making this month that will knock your socks off, but more about that at a later time….hahaha..yes, I am eeeevil.
Also, lately I have been struggling a bit, again, not ashamed to come out and admit it..you know me…and because I know that it is not talked about at all (rather shoved under the carpet is more like it) I have to share and let you know: warning..it’s the baby thing again..because, well....the babies just seem to keep on coming .....!
It’s the same old same old story: you want what you can’t seem to get..the problems that poses for me, is that it is not a tv or gadget, it is flesh and blood and something you just cannot seem to pick up at Woolworths….
Why do I bring this up? Well, I tell you, All our friends have kids, except for one couple and well..us. We had a fabulous visit from a great friend and her kids and we loved it! It does make you think what you are missing. Also, I was at another friends house just yesterday and the photos and stories of grandchildren and even great grand children were hovering around the table almost all the time..and you know, I get it, it is precious to have a baby, have a grandchild and I do not wish ever to have people think when they invite me over (That is... if they still want me now..lol) to think to themselves please be careful and never mention babies..you know , kind of like John Cleese in Fawlty Towers saying to the staff when German tourists visit : “Whatever you do, DO NOT mention the war !” lol
It’s okay, really, I don’t break out in a cold sweat or get sad or angry or feel a terrible loss and start crying my eyes out anymore…I can deal with it..more or less…What gets my hackles up however is the following: A friend of ours, with kids, told me “About time” is a great movie about time travel and life and stuff…it is! he was right ! I loved it ! It is a great fun intelligently made movie with a great premise that the male members of the family can travel back through time….(starring Bill Nighy !) Anyway, the thing is…the babies just kept on coming! ....even the couple discussing”Oh lets have ANOTHER one”..in no time number two, three and four were on their way and happy families all around….
Last night I thought while spinning, Paul and I , could watch a fun comedy called “what happened to the Morgans”with the chick from Sex in the City and the English guy from Notting hill who always seems to play himself..lol..anyway, apart from the fact that it was an absolute disaster and horrible toe clenching to watch the actors bumble along, there was a mention of infertility and timed sex coinciding with ovulations (those of you having been through that or still are…good luck ! and oh boy what a stressfull time to have “fun”..lol..but anyway I digress) and that is why he had an affair bla bla bla..separation..bla bla bla….and , because it is a hollywood movie in the end , they all get together again, you see them walking out of the subway with an adopted baby ! and I think..oh well…at least that is good..showing adoption as a possibility and then a closing shot to put the icing on the cake : she holding the adopted baby up and a close up on her pregnant belly ..end credits roll…
I get up with eyes big as saucers..grab the dvd, borrowed from the library, out of the dvd player..and again, I am not afraid to admit this, wrote the word SHIT on it and put it back in its cover…whereupon I saw that there was a critic note on the front saying “An excellent date movie”..and I couldn’t contain myself and added a word to make it the truth “an excellent HORRIBLE date movie”…….
Is it me? Really , if it is ,tell me so, but the propaganda in movies and tv series just gets me unravelled: everybody has babies without problems, has them when they ask for them, as if they are saying to their partners “Oh, honey, can you get a carton of milk and bread from the supermarket, oh and get us a baby while you are there will you?”…..
I get mad, angry and frustrated , not by real life babies anymore or stories of them or being around babies or kids, but by the sheer “the world takes it all for granted that babies and pregnancy are easy and logical and just happen”..
For a huge amount of people out there, it just does not work that way at all..it is not easy and for a lot, Paul and me for example, it will never happen..we will never have a baby to hold or see grow up and never get grandkids or even great grand kids…and it is not only us, there are a LOT of couples out there with a family wish they will never see granted....and it is a shame that for something that heartbreaking and important, to be really never mentioned or talked about or made a movie about ..it may just be that the world only wants happy fairytale endings, but as with everything, life is not a fairytale , it does not follow a script nor does it always have the same elements in it, apart from the fact that each of us is born and will sooner or later kick the bucket.
I think it would just be more bearable if that one very important thing called “being childless” would be discussed more openly without tabu and all those struggling with infertility or being childless would have just as much support as all the people living in the hollywood happy ending lives…it would make childless life just that tiny bit easier. To be able to see and know that you are not the only one…
It’s like that with everything: if you know that you are not alone dealing with a certain pain, being childless or dealing with illness or loss or being depressed or fear, anything…the most important things in your life will be that you KNOW that there are others out there who maybe even have it tougher than you, to KNOW that there are people out there with empathy who can see what you are going through , and to have a network out there that can give you the support and friends you need to cope feeling “not normal”… Besides, in real life, there is no "normal" believe me ...the powers that be just want you to believe that, because it is much easier to deal with hordes of normal, than with a multitude of quirky individuals.
Anyway, it is just very hard to KNOW that kind of stuff, when the power of media and movies and advertisements are so unrelentingly unleashed into the ether and into each and everyones brain….
It’s a good thing I am extremely stubborn, have a Narnia Wardrobe and have the blessing of being able to create things and ideas. To all of you out there who are struggling with being childless or having to go through al those yucky tests and fertility treatments and loss…please, please, you are not alone..you never will be , as long as you realise there are others out there fighting for life just like you. Big hugs to all !!
On this weeks update some NEW no 5 Luxury tops, because you are worth it ! Five amazing luxury fibres you will not be able to let go it is just out of this world this blend!! The Luxury tops are made with Yak, Bison, Tencel, angora bunny and cashmere! If you have never tried it, you are missing out on THE experience of a life time!
Please don't hesitate to contact me at any time if you have any questions okay? Always happy to enable. All my contact details are to be found at the end of this weeks blog entry. Have fun !!!
Yak, Bison, Tencel, Angora Bunny and Cashmere , suri silk !
50grams (+/- 1.9Oz) AU$22
How To Order:
2. message me on facebook or ravelry where I am Ixchelbunny.
I will email you right back with all your order details and payment methods.
Any questions? Any custom orders for yarn or dyeing fibre? Please don’t hesitate to ask! Always happy to enable.